I always find it so surreal how both very real and at the same time so very dream-like this whole thing can feel. I like to think of myself as someone who very much lives each day to the next. Sure, I plan ahead. I do things in the present that will make the future easier and less stressful. So, most of the time, I tend to not really think about what my life will be like in just a couple of months. I haven't often thought about what it will be like to have a sister and younger brother. I haven't often thought about the different rules and responsibilities my hostfamily will have for me. I haven't often thought about how challenging and strange it will be to live with a foreign language almost 24/7. All those things and more just still seem too far away, too separate from the life I live now, for me to really think about them.
However, there are times when I do try to wrap around those concepts and situations. It's during those times that I feel a mix of both elation and anxiety. While I know this can be one of the greatest years and experiences of my life, I can't help but feel trepidation about what I'm actually getting myself into. I'm going to a whole other country, by myself, to live with people I can't really claim to know. I'm going to be living where people don't necessarily speak my native language. I'm going to be moving away from everything and everyone I have come to know, love and appreciate my whole life. But it's kind of funny. It's these things - which give me such worry and sometimes almost cause me to doubt what I'm doing - it's these things that make me that much more excited for exchange.
Exchange is something I have to do for myself. I'm the one who needs to challenge myself and persevere through it. I'm the one who needs to learn all the lessons exchange has to teach. I'm the one who needs to make the memories that will last a lifetime. I can't ask anyone to do it for me, because no one can do it for me. It's up to me to make the very most of this incredible experience. And I know I'm ready for it.
Bis später
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